love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize