At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
