I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Come see our sink grown plant.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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