The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
