Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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