You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
