If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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