I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
