She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
