So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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