Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
