i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
