Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
