dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want to be your penis for a week.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Come on in and take your pants off
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