let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
