just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
