I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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