Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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