i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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