I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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