carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize