I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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