OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
