even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
