I wish I could teleport
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
