the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
we're so committed to being not committed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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