I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize