Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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