Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
