no. you can't hotbox the world.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize