Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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