he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
