Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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