even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
