I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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