so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
