He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wear drunk well.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
