kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize