so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
