We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
