last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
