I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
