i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
