omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I want her autograph on my taint
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
