Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
