Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
