Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
