she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize