Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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