i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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