I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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