So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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