Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
