I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
