I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
