Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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