We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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