OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
