its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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