Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize