I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
