hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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