wake up i wanna do it froggy style
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
