....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
