I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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